A secret from my secret.

I just can't let you in. Just can't. And god knows how badly I want this. I can't because we are hurt. These marks are fresh. I have to confess that I'm afraid off what could happen if I had able to let you in. I'm afraid off what could happen after. Seems that would be like the same, like what happens with everybody. Probably we would try heal the marks of each other. But then, we probably would do new one on ourselves skins and hearts. We would be worn, once again. On the other hand, what I'm really scared about, is to think that we could work. I get scared to think that we could have no expectations, about anything, about us. Again I'm against the wall, be cause I can't and don't know how to tell you this. All what my mind can think its that we have to be done eventually, that to be perfect we have to put a end on it. I'm scared about what my feelings could do to me. I can't, just can't be hurt again. I would not know how to react to pain, not again, not by now. I'm dying of desire to just let you in, just let you know that I need attention, but I can't fuck say what's going on in your mind. I can't take a wrong step. I can't make that and mess up with everything or mess up with the few we have of each other. Even admitting that we have to put a end on it, on us, I'm terrifying that I could lost the control your have on me. That I could lost the power, the feel, your hands, your hair, your mouth... God, I can't give me this luxury to wish you more that I can't have. You are my secret, and I keep a secret from my secret. What tells me that one way or another, one of then will discover about the other.